the radio dept - your father

Now that you're away I'm jerking off every day to your memory
You finding someone else was a real blow
Who will defend me?
I'm drinking every day but try to behave the same way I did before
But it's hard
It's oh so hard

Iron cast

Hey you girl
You don't know me and I don't know you
That's not important anyways
What is however is my overwhelming need to penetrate you
I want to grab you by your silly little neck and fuck you senseless
Your pussy will leak a leak like a river
And your ass will gape purple and blue in ecstasy
You should call me, or message me
So I can break your vagina in two

julie doiron

so hawt. seriously.

she puts on her black peacoat and heads out the door
clouds the color of Napoleon's heart dripping ice cold rain water at ever click of her prada heels
a drunk beggar stares at her tits as she walks bye
a twisted whisper so small crawls of his mouth
it is too small to be heard or acknowledged
then she stops and thinks to herself
"i'd actually consider fucking a drunk, homeless, horny fuck if one ever knew the right thing to say"
and she regains momentum
her tight ass swaying feverishly from side to side
filling out every square inch of her clothing
she walks into the big flashy building
expensive lighting bouncing off of her glossy lips
her nose powered once
and stuffed with it twice for good measure
she flips her hair and lights flash
she moves her lips and shutters move back and forth
she is everything you want to be
but nothing that you'd ever really want to become

life used to be interesting
i used to be interesting
the world slowly changes around me and i am completely cognizant of this
but yet i felt as though i was immune to it all
i thought i was a step ahead of everyone
i was so foolish then

withme

i dont need love no more
just a whisper from your lips
and your cold peppermint kiss

oh yes, i could love you more
oh yes girl, so much more
in the bathroom, on the floor

i dont need love no more
just a cure and a crooked smile
wont you stay with me a while

oh yes, i could love you more
oh yes girl, so much more
in the bathroom, on the floor
wont you stay with me some more

Lately I’ve been feeling very sort of apathetic-like
Part of this reason is probably change
The other is direction I think
It's extremely easy to find one
While the other just throws you off base and demolishes your foundation in a sense of not letting you know exactly where you stand
Not like 'stood' was ever a constant or even an acknowledgeable figure prior
But the important thing is this

I still like your clothes best when their undone

Please
scream if i'm right
scream if i'm right
if i'm right...

A heartbeat in Time

A soft portrait on a broken mantelpiece. The story of a young girl with blazing diamond eyes of pure elation. She cries out with her arm outstretched, hoping for a savior. But with this messy life I live, I could never take your hand. Neither submerged nor floating in it, you manage to stand effortlessly on a river of fallacy and fragment. The scenery damp, moister in the air heavy. Yet you, frozen and tranquil, unscathed by the leaden rainfall. An ethereal aura devours your entire being like an impenetrable shroud of ecstasy. Behind you in the distance, sits a dirty, rotting seaside town. Its landfills and macabre fathered your edgy smile. It's the dead of night, my bones are frail and tepid, my hands damaged and limp. It's been many lifetimes since I’ve last seen you and those intoxicating sundrop eyes of pure adoration. But I still remember how your face would shake the walls of that old house. And gentile girl on canvas, doused with acrylics, I still remember how your arm outstretched to me. A brilliant grasp of sublime passion that planted a seed. Even in a heart like mine.

Adored

It's your summer hips
and the way
they
re-create a
smooth ocean wave

where is my heart

I hate that when I hear fascination street by the cure I get lost in the song and remember how you could play the bass line to it.

The smell of tide

I stood on the sidewalk and waited for you
2:30
Is when you pass without fail

My heart turned black and ceased to function today
because
It's been a week since
I've seen you pass my way

Browwwnnnnnn

Beauty in sinking ships

Hawtttt.

You can't have everything...

Inside my head is where you live
I've tried all the suggested methods to remove you
How you lived though the mustard gas, anthrax, and carbon monoxide, I’ll never know

I find you sometimes
Running through the rooms in my head
You hide underneath spiral staircases and in between the walls of my bedroom
You lay beneath Persian rugs and silk armours
So many times have I tried to rid you
When you walk your feet become louder than 10,000 cicada in their fullest harmony
When you sleep your cold breath permeates into my heart
It becomes arctic and slows to a single thump
In the summer I can feel you in my bloodstream
You melt your way into my capillaries and breed sickness
In the winter you freeze my thoughts
and replace them with ice sculptures of you

Most days you lay docile and never knock on my walls
You sit as a gem and shine on for all to see
But on a day like this
You do nothing but pound at the walls
inside my head

Assorted works from the past years...

Over the years I've written a bunch of shit.
Less stink as followed...


Lifted

Sinking in a sandbox of lethargy and fallacies.
You stretch your skin and pull your veins until the capillaries fill with shards of laughter and dissonance that reverberate throughout your neon walls.
An ivy ravine built upon layers and layers of catastrophe.
Yet they're patient.
They sit and wait.
Ready to rupture and spew condolences at the flick of your grandfather's old timepiece.
Your eyes fill of second hand store arguments and bittersweet whispers.
The high-rise of perceptual tendencies and disorderly conduct grapple the mind into a state of totally inattentiveness.
Mushrooming occurs, but still all goes unnoticed.
A camp of cyanosis tonguing exit holes into your brain.
Pull the blue cord tighter.
You never forget the sound.
Louder than a train wreck or 188 decibels of the finest whistle in the world.
It sounds of grapefruit exploding on the kitchen floor.
It sounds of carcinogenic school children playing the violin and smoking cigarettes as a masquerade of rape and nostalgia flutter by.
A delicate array of taste and confusion, concocting methadone at the bottom of your cup.
It’s a sound that brings you much further from the ground that you ever thought possible.
Lifted.


Brown Shoes

Usually I'd say a kiss means nothing
It's just some hyped up bullshit that everyone decides to buy into
Like fucking
Don't fuck him unless you've been dating for ’X’ amount of weeks
Don't fuck him unless you're sure there's something there
Don't fuck him unless he's the one
I've never been one to buy into fabricated bullshit
To me a kiss means nothing
To me a kiss is nothing
Fucking
Means nothing
But today
That shady breeze flowing in between the strands of your hair
The Jetliner carrying all the moms and dads home from corporate trips
The dog barking in the backyard many houses down
All meant something
Even though I don't want to admit it to you
That kiss was certainly something
A kiss like that
Short, sweet, and simple
Even if I wanted to fuck you I couldn't
So pure and pristine
You hit my core like a fucking heart attack
S h a t t e r e d
Tremors maybe
Upheaval all throughout this wayward mind
I'll still tell you that it meant nothing to me in the morning
But both you and I know
It was much more
Then I’ll ever let you believe


Home

There's nothing
louder
than the
sound of
this
empty apartment


Homage

Days pass
at a dawdling rate
The ocean
lays breathless
Catching sand between
our toes
Engulfed by this
dismal beach
Let's lay here
inevitably
This time
Next time
I won't be here


A Ballad of bones

Life ticks away slowly
Forget the heartbeat
That was gone a long time ago

You're left with thoughts and ideas (plagues and riddles)
You consume all of this knowledge
None of it is good for you but there's no other way to put out the fire
You can let it burn out
Even though
The damage has settled in long before drinking took any standpoint on the matter

This bullshit knowledge that you created
You fed off of it and blew things out of proportion
You fade into everything but nothing will help to writhe the skin better than your fuck-ups and misguidance
The weight of 10,000 words mean nothing without you
Fall, fail, fuck.

None of it is important but I'll still load the chambers
Just in case
Open ribcage in a liquid tombstone
As for the last hurrah
Take a picture of my rigid body
For within it is everything you wanted to see
And every word time never let me tell

Wipe the wounds, sew the eyes
You won't need to see where you're going
The heart is a catacomb of dead ends and shrapnel
Fight the war, win the fight, or die trying

You still have one last chance
Think things though
Words and feelings mean nothing
That I learned


Rehashing

Then everything went dark;
the houses, the buses, the cars, the streets, the subway, even the people went dark.

It wasn't that the limelight went missing,
it was that dismal feeling you get in the back of your throat once you realize everything you spent your entire life working for ended so abruptly.
You never have a chance take control of the situation.
Not that you would have known what to do or how to handle it anyways,
but it would have been nice to get a jump on things before the final blow knocked you to your quivering knees and left you with that little blue ball point pen that leaked though your pocket.

As you kneel there you're forced to recollect the events that made you:
Late nights with alcohol, fucking, commitment, lack of commitment, adoration, sleep, the lack of sleep, the lack of a father figure, the lack of a hero, no one being there when you came home at night, no one calling to check in on you after a heavy nights of drugs, pictures, and pills.
The only reason you were still alive was because of your altruistic acts.
The only thing that was left for you to do was follow a path.
Not to say that you normally conform to the standards of society,
but to say the monolith had finally arrived from the ocean,
shrouded in mystery and covered with the fragrance of tide.

If you could explain to someone the significance or the underestimating qualities,
they still wouldn't understand.
You've known them all your life and shambling though the anchorage with luggage in one hand and life in the other,
will not change their opinion about any of this.

It was that dismal feeling you get in the back of your throat once you realize nothing ever really existed and how it was always just you under the limelight.

It was midday and 100° outside,
the sky was incandescent and the people continued to move their feet to the rhythm of life. Nothing ever seized,
hope was never lost,
and the ocean had never seen so much pigmentation.

I'd like to show you

I'd like to wake up next to you
and tell you that you mean everything to me

I'd like to feed you pills
and make you soup when you're sick

I'd like to sing you songs
and play for you my music

I'd like to listen to you talk about your problems
and promise never to try and fix them unless you ask

I'd like to drive you to the city
and take you to nice restaurants

I'd like to take your hands
and warm them up for you when they're cold

I'd like to lay in the grass
and look at the world with you

I'd like to stay up late
and watch movies with you

I'd like to go shopping with you
and promise never to bitch even if you've been in Nieman’s for hours

I'd like to write sonnets for you
and put them into your purse when you're not looking

I'd like to hold you
and kiss you to sleep at night

I'd like to wake up next to you
and tell you that you mean everything to me

I'd like to wake
and actually find you next to me

Material Issue - Valerie Loves Me

In 1996 Lead singer Jim Ellision committed suicide via carbon monoxide poisoning in his garage. As always, the good things in life never stick around for too long.

Selling the girl :(

Selling my 3.2 liter, awd, turbo R32.

I hate to do it but it's got to be done.

Also taking considerations on a new/used car to add to the stable. Cost + reliability are looking good right now.

Cage - Ballad of worms

I can't get that sound you make out of my head.
I can't even figure out what's making it.

I'll be the one to fracture their fractus castles

With a plethora of defunct livejournals, I figure it's time for a change of pace. 2009 is breathing and emitting new policies and characters. Always wanted a blogspot. Now I have a reason for doing so.


Numb

I'm dreaming of stolen thoughts and passing moments in time
A photograph taken long ago in a sanctuary
Faded pigment and frayed corners
I could have shared my world with you
But you know I was afraid
I was always afraid to grow

A hapless boy in a sinking house wishes you well
He paints your face on his walls with his despondency and rue
In his eyes you've never looked more glamorous
He draws a line from his heart to yours

She still catches his lingering scent sometimes
That same old smell that engrossed itself into her fabrics
She sees his face in mosaics and flames from burning candle wicks
A facade of crooked tendencies and broken promises is all she's left with

I'll stay planted in the soil this time
My arms will branch and my feet will keep rooted
My hair will stretch like vines and entwine around all that it touches
My chest will explode with a beautiful array of gladiolas
You were right when you said I had growth inside me
It was just waiting to come out